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Are you prepared to set yourself free?
Dreams of being caged may sound quite simple to understand, but in reality they often prove more of a challenge than you might initially think. For while we can easily understand that a cage represents some kind of restriction or loss of freedom, knowing why the cage exists, and how to be released from it can be a lot more challenging indeed.
When you dream of a cage, it can help to start by looking at who or what is in the cage. By using some of the other posts I have written you may begin to realise which aspect of yourself is caged. Is it a wild animal? Maybe your inner wild nature is being restricted. Is it another person? Maybe an aspect of your personality is being shut-off or caged.
Dreams of being caged can also represent a difficulty your are facing in your waking life, where you feel circumstances do not allow you to be your real self, or where you are compromised in some way. Take a look and see how much of this is really out of your control, and how much you are complicit in what is going on. Are you just avoiding the confrontation or feel you lack the bravery it would take to change things? For while cages can seem like a prison to some, to others they can be a safe haven. Does the bird in the cage want to live there safe from the cat’s evil claws, or would it rather fly away to freedom? If you are the bird, what is it you really want? For others, the cage keeps the wild things safely hidden away. But remember, these are all simply aspects of yourself. If you are a lion, do you want to roar proudly, or cower in the dark in shame and humiliation?
The reason dreams of being caged can be so difficult to resolve is because often it is only our-selves who have constructed the cage in the first place. Dreams of cages invite us to consider:
- Where have we placed restrictions upon our-self?
- What self-limiting beliefs or behaviours are we exhibiting?
- What part of ourselves do we need to “set free”
Are you caged by your own thoughts?
As soon as we begin to realise that we can cage our-selves with our own thoughts, dreams of being caged may become less distressing of frustrating. Often, we hold the key to our own release. Address these areas of your life, and see how your dreams may change to ones with symbols of freedom, such as running happilly, dancing, flying or floating.
It may also be helpful to look at my posts on”Wild Animals” “Other People” and “Obstacles.”
What are the masks that you wear?
Who are you? Depending on how much thought you have given this question, the answer will be either very complex or remarkably simple. I thought I should raise this point now, as it is a question vital to dream work. The ideas of who you are, who you appear to be, the different roles we all play in life, and our changing perceptions of ourselves are at the heart of dream work.
I talk a lot about the subconscious on these posts, and we should probably pause a moment in our journey to understand dreams to think about what we really mean by that. The subconscious is the part of our selves that we don’t think about all that often. Its where our memories live when we aren’t thinking about them. It’s where our feelings come from when we don’t control them, which, is really most of the time!
So our conscious self then is like the mask that we put on to show the world. We may have many masks – the one our work colleagues see, the one we show our family, maybe even the one we think is be the “real” us we save for those we love and trust the most. These masks can be quite elaborate, built up after years of growing into who we are. They can be a result of trying to please people, or trying to be cool, of trying to impress people, of trying to do the right thing, of protecting ourselves against hurt, shame or humiliation. All these things we learn as we grow, and in their own subtle way over time, they form together to create the picture of who we see as “self.”
But these these learned things are still not really the true us. They all simply “parts” of us. And sometimes these different parts can have different desires, different needs, and different fears. This is where it starts to get complicated. This is where we start to feel conflicted. And when we feel conflicted, our dreams step in. They try to show us a way to resolve the internal struggle we are having.
On one level, we may have a part of us that wants to conform to society and do the right thing in getting an education and a good job. But another part of us might want the freedom of being creative, being an artist or writer or actor. If we learned when we were growing up that to be creative and unconventional was “bad” we will suppress this desire in ourselves and try to ignore it and do the right thing. But dreams will remind of us of that other part of our-self, and ask us not ignore or forget it.
Things become especially tricky when guilt or fear are involved. If we have done or want to do something deep down, that another part of us over-rules as not possible and inappropriate, these longings can get pushed so far down we don’t even realise we have them. It can be too scary to admit sometimes that a relationship isn’t working, and it is better to settle for stability than to break free, or that you want to ignore the years of investment into your education and let your parents down by going travelling. Dreams will be the little voice in our heads, reminding us that we are not being true to ourselves, and there is something else we should pay attention to.
Are you ready to face who is behind the mask?
That is not to say that we should we swing wildly from the developed and controlling part of our personality and completely give into the wild, secret side to us! As we start to understand ourselves better, we can see that in many cases, dreams point the way to a peaceful resolution. Sometimes just to admit to ourselves that we have these other feelings in enough. Other times, we can find way to create a little niche in our lives to accommodate this other part to us, without having to give up on everything we have worked so hard to achieve. It might mean a new hobby, it might mean a new way of relating to the people in your life, it might mean taking a gap year!
The important thing to realise, is that we are multi-facetted, complex, rich and extraordinary things in being human. To deny part of who we are is to shut ourselves off from part of the wonderful experience of living. Dreams offer us a way to gently explore these other aspects to our selves, and a way to blend the many masks without conflict.
Is there something in life that is making you lose your head?
What a strange and bizarre dream to dream of a headless body, or head without a body! Sometimes these dreams even seem more strange than disturbing, as if you are somehow separated from the feelings of this dream. Sometimes though these dreams are more horrifying, and may involve attacking, fighting or decapitation.
If this dream makes you feel a bit surreal, distanced, or separate, this could be a good indication this dream is showing you that your head and heart are not communicating properly. This might mean that your head is controlling your heart, or your heart is controlling your head. Try and see where in your life you feel disjointed from your feelings, where you may be trying to be too rational and not letting your emotions flow. This often happens when we are afraid of letting ourselves feel for fear of pain or humiliation. Or conversely, maybe your emotions are running over board and you need to stop and take a moment to think about things. Your dreams may be suggesting you pause and consider where your intense feelings may be taking you. Maybe you have been behaving so irrationaly that you are “losing your head.” Dreams of a head separate from a body can be a signal your mind and soul are not in balance – one may be dominating the other.
If you feel disturbed or upset this dream may have a different meaning. Like attacking dreams, if you dream of decapitation, it could mean an area in your life where you feel vulnerable, criticised, or self critical. To dream of chopping off someone’s head, when you remember other people in your dreams are simply reflections of your self (see “Other People”, “Loved Ones” and “Baby Dreams”) may be an attack on some kind of belief you yourself hold. Is there somewhere in your life you feel you are getting “ahead of yourself”? Have you become so overly ambitious that you are sacrificing things that are really important to you? Maybe you are neglecting your health or those you care about in your efforts to “get ahead.”
The head is the top of our body, so in dreams it may be a symbol for the top or pinnacle of something you are striving towards. It may relate to a “head of state” or a “head of a company.” Ask yourself why this dream has come up for you now – are there issues of dominance or ambition in your life? Are you unintentionally preventing yourself from reaching the success you wish for?
Dreams of headlessness or decapitation may ask us where our in lives our emotions and logic are not in balance, and invite us to rejoin the areas of our life that seem separate or disjointed.
What is the next step in your life?
Dreaming of confusing staircases, lifts or escalators can make us feel like we have followed a lot of twists and turns in our mind all night, only to wake and realise we have not arrived anywhere! And this is not surprising, when we realise that dreams of this sort may be forcing us to look at where in our lives we are feeling lost, or preventing our-selves from reaching a destination we think we are consciously working hard towards.
Getting nowhere in a dream of staircases may be challenging us to examine where we are sabotaging our own efforts, or putting off the inevitable. Are you failing your exams because deep down you don’t want to leave the security of home or school and become self sufficient? Are you putting off the end of a project because you don’t know what you will do when you finally finish it? Or is it something more subtle, like not wanting to address an ongoing relationship problem, or feeling you are not worthy of success? These kind of dreams may be asking to us to finally take the next step in our life, instead of putting it off and going sideways, or backwards, or around.
Dreaming of stairs can also refer to our sense of hierarchy and progress in life. If you are happily ascending stairs or a lift, this could mean you are confident in the face of graduation, promotion or some other form of success “moving up in the world”. Or it might mean that you are growing in your own self confidence, experience and wisdom. If you feel you have been overlooked for a promotion or failed exams, you may dream of going down stairs, like you are “descending” in your social or personal stature. These dreams may also occur if we feel we are slipping in someone else’s esteem of us, if we feel people are “looking down” on us and we are losing some degree of power and confidence.
But as with all dreamwork, only you know the entire story of your life, and it is worth remembering that “down” does not equate with “bad.” Stairs going down can also be a symbol for entering our “deeper” self, as when we start dreamwork and start to access our deeper subconscious. You may find all kinds of symbolic creatures or events here as you journey into your deeper self and start uncovering the secrets you subconscious has kept hidden!
Where in your life are you going in circles?
To understand your stair or lift dreams, look at the condition of the stairs, whether you are going up or down, whether you eventually get to your destination or not and what kind of environment you are travelling through. Old or decrepit stairs may invite us to revisit an issue from our past, or something we have been putting off for a long time. Conversely, new shiny stairs may be a new issue or something you have not given much thought to yet. Also look at floor numbers, this could give you a clue to what the issue relates to. The number of the floor you can’t get to, or perhaps keep returning to, may be the age when the issue first came up for you, or else how many years or maybe even months ago the event first started.
Try to step back from your sense of personal involvement, and describe your dream in very basic words, and then list your emotions. Where does this relate to your life? What kind of “steps” or connections do you need to take to amend your current approach?
Staircase dreams can seem frustrating and confusing, but they invite us to look at what we are in control of, and how we can take steps to get to where we want to be.
Are you happy in the skin you're in?
How embarrassing! The dream of being caught naked in public, or only partially dressed is one of our more cringe-worthy dreams. To understand why you are dreaming this, you need to examine the feelings this brings up in you. Dreams of being naked in public ask us to question:
- Where in our lives do we feel exposed?
- What is making us feel vulnerable?
- What part of our self do we not want to reveal?
Being naked is not in itself a bad thing, and as children we have no shame associated with our bodies. As we grow, we learn to adhere to the rules of society, and to cover ourselves appropriately. When you dream of being naked, this can often be an expression of your “real self,” not the “you” that you show the rest of the world by covering up. If you dream of being naked and it makes you feel uncomfortable, it could be that you feel unready to reveal that true part of your self to the world yet. You might feel the world will judge you harshly, that you must conform by covering who you really are. Dreams of being naked often ask us to “address” this issue, to see what we are covering from our self and others, and what we need to reveal.
Dreams of being naked can also be a way of our subconscious mind connecting with our body, remembering what is like to feel free and natural, and asking us to get back in touch with our physical body. Try thinking about your body as you bathe, or caress your partner, stretch or do exercise. This is not about sexuality, but about being comfortable in the skin you’re in. Much of how we live our busy lives with work, study or caring for the family can make us spend too much time in our heads, distracted from what we feel and what is going on in our own bodies.
Dreams of nakedness invite us to not be ashamed of who we really are, and to enjoy the physical experience of living.
Dreams can be a path to knowing ourselves better
At the time of writing this post I have yet to find a universally agreed theory as to why we dream. There are many theories, and I will list a few of these here over the next few entries. But a more important question I think needs to be addressed, and that is, do our dreams have any real meaning, and is there any point in even trying to understand them? To this question I would answer a resounding “yes.” I know this through my direct experience, and the shared experience of others.
Of course there are those who disagree with me, and they are entitled to. By dismissing dreams as “random firings of the brain” or simply an evolutionary mechanism that developed to help us process information, I do feel that these people are missing a valuable opportunity in life to know themselves better.
We do know from research that when we are learning a new skill, such as a new language or a musical instrument, that we dream more. Dreams do help us remember and understand, without dreaming our learning and memory functions become impaired. It is worth bearing in mind when reading scientific dream research, that this kind of study is often undertaken by rational, logical, left-brained people, who start from an inherently skeptical position. This is as science should be! But when these people deny the magical, emotive, creative, intuitive experience of the right-brained activity of dreaming by seeking to explain it away, I must jump to dreams defense! Dreams can help us understand ourselves better, and to know oneself I believe is an ideal worth striving for.
Rationally, to value only left-brained activity over right-brained is to only experience half of life. Both are important and essential to our survival. But more profoundly, to deny the existence of a rich and valuable inner world is to cut yourself off from the spirit of humanity, the magic of imagination that feeds our souls through music, art, and the stories of our history in myths and legends. Our inner world, where dreams, imagination and creativity live, feeds our emotions, gives us the ability to grow and evolve, the ability to heal ourselves, the ability to know love. To insist that human beings are simply a bundle of learned responses, evolutionary mechanisms and survival instincts, no more than pure biological creatures, is to deny yourself a life of wonder, meaningfulness and profound joy. But it is always your choice. What do you chose?
In the words of Albert Einstein:
“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.”
And whether you are right brained or left brained, or a happy blending of both, I recommend you check out this video:
http://www.ted.com/index.php/talks/jill_bolte_taylor_s_powerful_stroke_of_insight.html
Chances are at some stage in your life you have had a recurring dream. This may have been a period where you dreamed of the same thing night after night, or it may be a very dominant symbol that seems to come back through-out your life at important times.
Recurring dreams are often trying to give us a wake-up call. The message they have is so important that they insist on you paying attention, and will come back night after night until you:
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either understand them and act upon them
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inadvertently change your life which will also change the dream
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or manage to suppress them so deeply that you might even stop remembering your dreams at all.
I would suggest the final option is really not the best way to go! Sooner or later the things you choose not to address in your life have a way of popping back up, maybe in the form of a nightmare, maybe with an illness or accident, maybe with some form of self destructive behaviour.
What repeating patterns are in your life?
So how do you deal with a recurring dream then? The first thing to realise is whether this is a normal dream to help you through a life transition, or whether it is the direct result of some trauma. In the case of trauma, and repeating dreams related to this event, I would suggest that you please don’t go it alone. Find someone who can help you and support you through this time. Your dreams are a reflection of your subconscious mind trying to deal with what has happened. Eventually, with time and help, you will heal, and your dreams will start to show you signs of resolution. Your dreams can help in this process, but especially early on they can seem to be as bad as the event itself, so that it is always a good idea to have someone wise and caring there to support you as you go through the difficult period.
Many recurring dreams though, are not related to a specific trauma at all, and are simply the mind’s way of helping you make some important life change. This can be at a transitional phase of your life, such as finishing school or university and preparing to become independent, at the start or end of a relationship or marriage, taking on a new job or new responsibilities. Or it could be something much more internal, such as finally overcoming a long held fear, giving up a harmful habit or starting a new good one.
If your recurring dream has come back after many years of being absent, ask your self how this period of your life is similar to when you had these dreams before. Does the end of your relationship make you feel abandoned as you did when your parents divorced? Does the stress of taking on a new job remind you of the nervousness you felt in going to a new school? These kind of recurring dreams remind us how we coped with this situation last time, and give us hints as to whether we should use those skills again, or maybe try something new. They do remind us that we survived last time, so we will be alright again this time. But maybe we can do it even better than last time, learn from our old mistakes and have a second chance to get it right this time.
If you are having recurring dreams and not doing anything to change your life, look for ways you can. If you keep dreaming of running from something, you might have to learn to face who or what is chasing you before this dream changes. If you keep dreaming of crashing a car, you might need to learn how to gain better control of your life before this dream goes away. These are just some examples, but the important thing to recognise, is that recurring dreams are urging us to do something, to wake up to ourselves and change the repeating patterns in our own life that aren’t getting us anywhere.
When you start to dream about the same thing that always appeared in your recurring dreams, but the ending of the dream changes, you are on your way to breaking the cycle. As you grow and develop, so too will your dreams evolve to reflect the new changes in you.
After being chased in dreams we might wake up feeling exhausted!
Like being attacked, the dream of being chased, of running away from something or trying to hide is one of the most common as well as distressing dream themes. It is not uncommon after waking from a chase dream feeling stressed, anxious, or even exhausted as though we actually have been running all night! These dreams may involve long and complicated plots moving from location to location, or they may have just an intense feeling of needing to get away. You may be running, using transport, or seeking places to hide. All of these other elements give us different clues as to our emotional state and what the thing is we are running from. Look at the other symbols to help piece together the meaning.
Also similar to attack dreams, chase dreams can be confronting to deal with. They often ask us the questions:
- What are you running away from?
- What do you not want to face up to in your life?
- Where are you feeling under threat or under siege in your waking life?
If these questions were easy to deal with, they would not have reached the stage in our dreams where we feel panicked, so don’t worry if these questions are difficult to answer at first. Learning to confront our fears, to face up to people or ideas that we find threatening or demeaning, or to admit our own bad habits and self destructive behaviour is one of the most difficult aspects of self development. How can we learn to be brave and strong when we feel intimidated, threatened, guilty or afraid?
The good news is, you can start to address these elements in the same way your dreams do – symbolically. As you work with your dream, you can “train” your subconscious, eventually becoming strong and certain enough that you can act in real life as you do in your dreams, and claim back your own personal power. Try the following exercises:
- Write a conversation with the person or thing that is chasing or following you, it doesn’t matter if you never actually knew what it was in the dream. Write it like a script or dialogue, letting the words flow freely. This will help you “face up” to your assailant
- If this dream is because you feel guilty about something, write your self a letter. First, one explaining why you did what you did, and how you feel about it, then another, to forgive your self and recognise that you can’t change the past, that making a mistake does not doom you forever, and that everyone will be better off if you learn to be happy and strong. Read these letters out loud then destroy them.
- Make a sculpture or drawing of your chaser. If it still looks scary and intimidating, draw or sculpt something on it that makes it look funny or ridiculous. Tell the person or creature they have no power over you any more.
You will know when this dream work starts to take effect as the chasing dreams change – either you will face the one who chases you, you will dream of getting away, or the chaser will change into something positive. And as these changes take place in your subtle, subconscious mind, so too should you feel a renewed sense of freedom, confidence and strength. Chase dreams invite us to stop running, to face our fears and recognise what is good and healthy for our life.
(For more information, check out my post on “Dream Symbols: Attack!”)
What precious thing needs care and nurturing in your life?
Babies in dreams can mean a variety of things.
They can refer to our own inner child, the part of us that remains innocent, spontaneous, playful and trusting. These kind of baby dreams ask us to look to where in our life we need nurturing. Do you need to take better care of yourself, or maybe you have judged your self harshly and need to be a bit kinder and gentler to your self.
They can mean a new project in your life, something that you create and nuture as “your baby.” The age of the baby can sometimes indicate when this project was started or “conceived.”
If you lose or forget the baby in your dream, you might feel a terrible sense of sadness or guilt. Look for where in your life you feel you have lost something precious. This might be a new loss, like loss of a job, giving up something personally valuable to you in order to achieve another goal, or help someone you care about. It might also be an old loss, remembrance from a pain in your past that was unresolved, when the innocent, trusting part of you was hurt or let down. Baby dreams ask us to address these issues, so we can feel trusting and happy again.
And while it is not the most common reason for people to dream of babies, some women do realise they are pregnant by dreaming of their baby. This is because the subconscious mind often knows before the conscious mind what is going on in the body, and will send us messages to let us know!
The important thing to remember, is that even if you dream of your own children, or children you know, these are usually symbols your mind is using to express an idea to you. There is no need to feel anxious or guilty over your parenting skills, but you might want to look at what other causes for anxiety there are in your life, and remember it is just as important to care for and nurture your self as it is to care for your baby.
What's driving you?
Dreaming about cars and driving is a really rich territory to start understanding some of the fundamentals at work in our lives.
The first things to consider are:
- Who’s driving? Who is actually at the wheel in your dream? This often indicates who or what is controlling your ego or conscious mind. Is it you? Then you are probably making conscious decisions about your life. Is it some one else – your mother, father, teacher, boss? Then look at how you have let their values and beliefs in life become your own. So, you may have learned from your mother that a good woman should always pay attention to how she looks, or your father that a man must prove his success through a good job, and this belief is now “driving” you.
- How do you feel about who’s driving? If you are happy, relaxed or exhilarated, that’s great! Even if it’s not you at the wheel, you may be letting your subconscious or intuition drive you, and this part of your self is helping you get where you want. If you aren’t happy with some one else driving, look for how your beliefs may need to change. Maybe your mothers excessive concern for appearance is making you eat unhealthily, maybe your father’s drive to work harder and harder means you never spend any time with the family. If it’s you at the wheel and you can’t control the car, look for where in your life you feel you don’t have the control you want, or where you need to steer your life in another direction. Or maybe you are trying too hard to control thing, and need to relax a little.
- Do you get to your destination, or do you get lost, break down or crash? A safe arrival is often a reassurance we are heading in the right direction in our life, but look for hints that might help us get there faster, or more directly, or more enjoyably. Maybe your dream is saying to slow down and enjoy the scenic route – instead of rushing to a certain goal, maybe you need to enjoy the process! Dreams of delays, crashing or being lost can indicate you need to take a look at your present course of action and see what needs changing. Crashing can mean literally working so hard that your body “crashes” – this is a clear sign to take some rest, or slow down. Crashing can also be related to your emotional state. Maybe you have been in a relationship that has come to a sudden end, or you know one is about to (maybe deep down, but don’t want to admit to it,) or maybe you fear the relationship ending and feel “out of control.” Remember this is not a prophecy of what will happen, just a reflection of your own fears and subconscious beliefs. Being lost in a car is like your soul being lost. Doing dream work can help you find the direction you need to go.
Dreams of cars and driving are often rich in symbols, metaphors and signs. Do you see a green light? This could be telling you to start the thing you are waiting to start. Are you driving in the dark without lights? This could mean you feel in some area of your life you are “driving blind” without all the information you need to make decisions. Are you on an open highway? This could mean you feel free and optimistic about where you are heading in life. Or it might mean you are feeling lonely and seeking the company of a town or people. Are you stuck in traffic? This could mean something in your life is frustrating you and preventing you from reaching your goals. Or maybe it could be an opportunity to get out of the car and walk, to try a new approach. Only you know where this applies to your own life.
- Where do you want to go?
Car dreams ask us:
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Who or what is “driving” us? What beliefs and motivations and behaviours? Do we want to keep them or do they need to change?
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Where do we want to go? Are we headed in the right direction on our life? Do we need to change course?
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How do we want to get there? Do we need to slow down or hurry up? Do we need to take a more scenic route, or stop and pick up something or someone that we may have lost or forgotten?
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Who can help us get where we want, to achieve our goals?
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What warning signs (often literally road signs) do we need to pay attention to?
While having a dream about driving can highlight where we feel distressed, confused or out of control, by making small changes in our life we can take the wheel of our own destiny, and drive our own lives forward with happy confidence.
