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We all use our understanding of symbols every day
Unravelling the meaning of symbols and metaphors is one of the great skills of dream interpretation. You may think that this kind of understanding requires a specialist knowledge and complex abilities that only the few possess. But in truth, while some people are naturally more able to give voice to their understanding of a large range of symbols, (just as some can read music easily and others speak foreign languages), it is a skill that we all possess and in fact use every day. If you are reading this, you can understand symbols. Letters are simply symbols for sounds. If you understood the heading to this entry, you will have immediately understood that “&” is a symbol for “and.”
Symbols are things that have an inherant meaning beyond what they simply look like. We use symbols so much in our day to day life that we rarely question what they mean. We all know a red light means “stop” and a green light means “go.” We all also know that red when on a tap means “hot” while blue means “cold.” We don’t have to stop and think “oh, I see a red light, is that telling me to stop, or that it’s hot?” We not only understand the meaning of the symbol, but also how that meaning changes in a different context. So rest assured we can all interpret symbols with relative ease when when know how. These kind of symbols will come up frequently in our dreams. We just need to take the time to recognise them, and look at the meaning they are conveying, not simply watch the literal story of our dream playing out.
Metaphors are also not so esoteric and mysterious as they might at first seem. A metaphor is when we
Our dreams are like poems our subconscious mind creates
say one thing is something else, to give it extra meaning and actually show what they have in common. This is at the heart of poetry , but we don’t need an advanced degree in literature to understand the poetry of our own dreams. One of the easiest ways to understand metaphors is as a “figure of speech.” When we uses phrases such as “he blew me away,” “this where the rubber hits the road,” “get into hot water” and so on, we are using metaphors. We know we don’t literally mean anyone jumped into a pot of boiling water, or even a warm bath for that matter, but we do understand what is meant by the phrase. Our dreams work in similar ways. We can also scan our favourite songs for the use of metaphors that our dreams may use to communicate with us. Look for examples like “Love is a battlefield,” “You are my sunshine” and so on.
Another way dreams can convey meaning to us is through similes. Similes are quite easy to understand if
Are you dreaming of being wily, or sexy?
we just take a moment to consider them, as again they are ways of communicating we use every day in waking life. To use a simile is simply to compare to things by saying how they are alike. Again, this is a device used commonly in poetry, figures of speech and songs. Some of these similes become so common they are like cliches or stereotypes, but this can be really quite helpful when our dreams try to convey a message where the meaning might otherwise be a little ambiguous or misleading. When you dream of a praticular object or thing, look for representations where you would use the word “like” or “as” in a sentence. Consider comparisons such as “cunning as a fox,” “quiet as a mouse,”swim like a fish,” and “regular as clockwork,” “like watching paint dry” and “love is like a red, red rose.” (Of course, a “fox” to you might instead be a metaphor for someone who is sexy, so remember only you know which meaning to apply in your own dreams!) If you are trying to describe something that you aren’t sure someone else will understand, you may find yourself saying “its like I’m…(insert appropriate simile.) Your dreams work in much the same way. Keep an eye out (note the metaphor!) for when you do this in conversation. “It’s like I’m stuck on a roundabout and can’t get off.” Or “it’s like my hands are tied.” Or “it’s like when she walks into a room I just light up.”
Where we use any of this kind of language when awake, our dreams are likely to play it back to us in pictures. The trick is just for us to recognise when we see it, instead of the usual waking way of hearing it. Symbols, metaphors and similes ask us to look beyond the obvious, and see the meaning in the image.
Our dreams are as unique as we are
This is just a gentle reminder that despite all the posts I put up here that indicate what certain symbols and themes may mean in dreams, that I still hold dearly to my belief that only you can really understand your own dreams. This blog was never meant to be a sort of “dream dictionary”, nor a substitute for your own thinking and reflecting. These entries are to help you develop the skills to apply your own dream analysis, and to help provide some guidance and suggestions. While we may have common reactions to common symbols, this is because we share a common culture and language, and even beyond that, all human beings share universal feelings such as love and grief, as well as common inescapable human experiences such as birth from a mother, the need to eat and defecate, breathe, bathe, move, sleep and dream. But beyond this, we are all special and unique. We each have our own unique life experiences, our own personal take on things, and our minds’ form our own unique relationships between things. Not one of us dreams exactly the same as anyone else. So if you come here, or to any site, book or teacher to understand what your dreams may be, that is only the first step in the equation.
To really understand your dreams, you must ask yourself “what does this mean to me?“ You can start by working with your dreams, or you can start by working with your waking self. There are as many different methods to do this as there are people on the planet, but some suggestions so as to get started might be:
- Look at the symbols in your dream. Say it’s a certain animal, like maybe a crocodile. Ask your self, “what do I think and feel about crocodiles?” Your answer might be, “they are primitive, powerful, scary, cold blooded.” (Of course, if you were Steve Irwin, your answer would be very different! But that’s just the point.) Then look for where in your life the words “primitive, powerful, scary and cold blooded” might apply. What first springs to mind? An old fashioned boss who shows no feelings? The way you have been behaving with your partner? If you look for the descriptive words, rather than “how is my life like a crocodile” you might have an easier start.
- Look at the actions or behaviours in your dream, and again use words to describe the action. Is it swimming freely? Is it creeping up on something? Then you can apply this to the first question. “Where in my life is something primitve, powerful, scary and cold blooded creeping up?” As you apply this to different areas of the dream, gradually you can build up a picture of what this dream means to you uniquely.
Chances are dreaming of a crocodile would mean quite a different thing to Steve Irwin than it would to most of the rest of us!
Without a bit of self knowledge though, the link between the dream and “where this may be relevant in my life” can seem a bit tricky. This is why instead of going straight to dream interpretation, it can be helpful to reflect a little on what’s going on in your life first. The following suggestions can be done either before or after attempting to understand a dream, there is no right or wrong way to approach this, it’s simply a matter of finding what works best to help you get more insight into your own life.
- Try thinking about all the emotions you have felt in the day. How did you feel when you first woke up? When did that mood change? Remembering how our moods can change through-out the day can helps us make sense of a dream symbol that is trying to tell us about a particular emotion. Maybe you were quite happy until a colleague made a sarcastic remark about your shoes, which hurt your feelings but you didn’t want to show it, so you made a nasty remark back. You may recognise that you behaved in an unsophisticated, insensitive way. You might even describe the behaviour as “primitive, powerful, scary and cold blooded.” Are you starting to get the picture?
- Take time to think about what’s really going on with you. Is something bothering you deep down? Or are you really content, but maybe could take a minute to appreciate how happy you really are. Think about what you really want from life, how what you are doing will help or hinder you in achieving that, and what you have to be grateful for. Our fears and hopes are often at the root of many of our dreams. It is not by accident that we use the same word for what happens while we sleep, as we do for our goals and hopes in life.
Understanding our dreams and understanding our waking selves are inextricably linked
With a little effort, these processes of understanding our selves better and understanding our dreams better will become interwoven and inseparable. It is like a loop, each one feeds the other. But more than that, it can move our hopes and dreams out of our minds and into the real world. Dreams can shine the light on who we are and where we are going, and if we act on their advice, can change our lives for the better – waking or sleeping.
What do you need to do to create a bit of privacy in your life?
Needing to go really badly in our dreams, but not being able to find a place that is appropriate, can be frustrating, embarrassing and really quite stressful. We may be frantically hunting for somewhere we can go, or we may find a toilet, only to discover that other people can see us. We may feel too ashamed to relieve ourself, and feel increasingly “blocked” and “restricted”. There can be issues of privacy and space here, but this can also be a dream about our most basic needs. We can also look at how we are able to express ourselves in waking life, how we may feel our personal energy can flow freely or where we are placing barriers and rules on ourselves, or letting other people do that to us. Going to the toilet in most cultures today is an intensely personal thing, so it is important for you to understand what your needs are in order to understand this dream.
Looking at how we feel in these dreams can be a clue to what these dreams might be saying to us. We can consider if we feel angry and frustrated, humiliated and shameful, urgent and frantic, and so on. Dreams of trying to find a toilet invite us to consider:
- Where in my life do I feel frustrated or blocked?
- Is there something quite normal and human that I feel ashamed of?
- What basic functions am I preventing myself from doing?
- What emotions do I just need to let go of?
Thinking about going to the lavatory or bathroom in a symbolic context can take away a bit of the “eewww” factor, that cringe-worthiness that might stop us from even remembering or reflecting on this kind of dream. Try thinking of “relieving” yourself in a more abstract context, like getting toxins or un-needed things out from not just your body, in a physical way, but also from your mind, as in getting rid of negative emotions. This can be things like left-over fear, anger, jealousy or sadness. We need to purge our minds as much as our body – or else we do literally become “blocked.”
If we can’t find the toilet in our dreams, it can be a sign that we are not allowing ourselves the basic needs in life. We may be too busy, too engrossed, to caught up with caring for something or someone else, that we forget to take care of our most fundamental requirements. This kind of dream suggests that maybe we need to create a little time and space in our life to fit in some of the basics. Just as in waking life that special privateness you get when you close the bathroom door is a moment of calm, so too do we need that same space of private to attend to our psychological needs. It doesn’t have to be a long time, but the important thing is that we start paying attention to the messages our sleeping mind is trying to give us. The urgency of needing the toilet can be a powerful motivator to stop and pay attention!
Needing the toilet in a dream may often come after a troublesome relationship – either in our personal life, of maybe a business sense. There may be a sense of lingering unpleasantness that we know deep down needs to be dealt with. If at the end of this dream we do find a way of finally going to the toilet, that is usually a good sign that our dreaming mind is finding ways to purge or relieve us of our negative “baggage.” But even if the dream doesn’t end that way, simply paying attention to the dream and acting on its message to honour ourselves better with the fundamental care we need, can be enough to transform this dreaming experience into a far more pleasant one.
Of course, these symbols are all only relevant if the dream truly is symbolic, and not caused by your body screaming at your sleepy mind to wake up because you really do need the toilet! If you are bursting and dream of needing the toilet, it is far less likely to have any great meaning, and probably is just one of the fascinating ways our subconscious knows what is going in our body before the conscious mind does. And in this case, we are particularly grateful for that!
What do you see when you take a step back?
When we first decide to look seriously at our dreams, it can be difficult to know where to start, especially when the dreams are long or complicated. This is where it is often helpful to remember the issues of perspective and perception.
Put simply, perspective reminds us to look at things from different angles, to try and see them from as many viewpoints as possible: close up and from far away; as individual components or as part of a larger scene or pattern. Perception then, is how these things seem different when we change how we look at them. Perspective is the action of looking differently, and perception is how the things actually appear.
Rembering that everything we dream is a source of our own mind, when we try to look at our own thoughts it can be as if everything is magnified to an extreme close-up. It can be hard to focus. Or we might see all the parts, but we don’t recognise how they fit together. It is like the saying of “not seeing the wood for the trees.” Another example is the story of the three blind wise men who tried to identify an elephant in front of them. One felt the trunk and thought he was holding a large snake like creature. A second man felt the leg and described a large tree trunk type object, Finally, the third felt the elephant’s body and thought he had come up against a large solid wall. All these perceptions we can see were influenced by the perspective from which they were experienced, but none had the total picture. So it can be with our dreams.
A good practice to get into is to try and take a step back, to survey the objects and actions of our dreams from a bit of a distance. Try a wider view, like scanning the horizon. We can also try looking very close up, examining in minute detail, like under a microscope. It usually helps to do this quite dispassionately, trying to keep our emotions out of the observation process, behaving as if we were an objective scientist. This way we can also look at our emotions in the dreams as well, and notice how they change and what triggers these changes.
In order to gain these new perspectives, we can employ the benefit of time. Things often look different when we have had time to rethink them, or let new ideas form around them. This is why it is helpful to write down our dreams, so we can go back and re-read them and look at them later. Another way is to speak to a friend or family member we can trust. Sometimes what seems so confusing from our own point of view can seem remarkably obvious when you are on the outside looking in! A friend who knows what is happening in your life may bring remarkable insights when you share your symbolic dreams with them.
Do you take the time to reflect and look inside yourself?
But ultimately, we must learn to understand our own mind, our own motivations and fears, our secret desires and our personal values. Because this is what our dreams are telling us about. One of the best ways we can understand our dreams is to take time out, in calmness and quiet, without the distractions of TV, Internet, work or other people. We all need peaceful time in solitude to reflect. First, we let our conscious mind turn inwards and look inside our mind to where our subconscious lives. Then, we will start to understand what our subconscious mind is saying when it turns outwards and tries to communicate with our conscious mind. This is what dreaming is. To develop our dream interpretation skills, we need to develop a two way street from the waking mind to the sleeping mind. Then using this new perspective, we should develop new perceptions of what our dreams are trying to tell us.
Thanks for the top photo to:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/harold_davis/1031533284/
What you should just dive into?
Dreaming of a tidal wave, or any massive wave, is usually experienced from the viewpoint of watching it approach, either on shore, from a hill or some other near-by vantage point. This dream may often be accompainied by a sense of fear or panic. To understand dreams of this nature, it can help to start by understanding what water and the sea mean to us in dreams (see “Dream Meanings: Water” post.) If we look at water in our dreams as a symbol of our emotions and feelings, part of our inner world, then tidal waves can be like our emotions welling up and getting a little out of control. One of the advantages of being on shore or nearby watching the wave approach in the dream, is that it gives us an opportunity to step outside ourselves and look at what we we are feeling. This is usually a helpful thing to do when our emotions get so strong that they well up into a massive wave!
Tidal waves often appear in our dreams when are under a lot of pressure or when significant change is occurring. They may be a an indication that we feel a little overwhelmed, that maybe we fear we won’t be able to cope or adjust with what we see in our own future. They may occur as recurring dreams, with the wave getting bigger or closer over subsequent nights. This may correspond to our increasing anxiety, or the looming date we fear getting closer. It is worth recognising that when we have these dreams there is often an area of our life that we are not looking at clearly, or that we are avoiding. Tidal wave dreams remind us that if we don’t confront and deal with things that are out of balance in our life, then they will confront us first! There are few clearer signs of confrontation than standing right before a towering body of surging water!
The things that we aren’t confronting may be as easy to identify as a test we are afraid of failing, a deadline we feel we won’t be able to meet, or a location or job move we don’t feel ready for. Tidal wave dreams may come because we are procrastinating, or simply don’t feel prepared. Or as water relates to our emotions, tidal wave dreams can come at the beginning of new relationships. We may even feel overwhelmed at how much we feel for someone! But tidal wave dreams, like most dreams, often work on many levels. Whether external pressures are dominant in our life or not, tidal wave dreams will often indicate a period of internal change. Remember that the sea is often a symbol for our own subconscious, so a giant wave in the sea can be like our subconscious rising up, making sure its power is felt through-out our waking and conscious life.
The sea can be a symbol for our own subconscious mind
This need not be such a scary or intimidating thing. By working with our dreams, we can come to feel comfortable in the realm of the subconscious. Those big, powerful, unknown forces that exist inside us and drive us and sometimes feel like they are going to overwhelm us, become far less terrifying when we are familiar with them. When we realise they simply a part of us and can be managed, tidal wave dreams no longer seem so urgent. To deal with tidal waves in dreams we can apply the same technique that we use when fleeing anything that scares us, and that is to confront it. You may think, how on earth do I confront a a tidal wave? It is so big, it can’t be killed or negotiated with, so how can it be beaten? But just as all things in our dreams are part of us, so too are tidal waves. And if tidal waves are a symbol for our subconscious, this is not something i would suggest we should want to beat into submission or seek to tame. The approach then is to merge with it. Tidal wave dreams invite us to dive into our subconscious, the learn to swim or surf and enjoy the experience of being at one with our-self, of exploring our emotions. If we are lucky, we may even learn to breathe under water. Some people are able to use diving into tidal waves as a trigger for lucid dreaming. Like flying then, swimming underwater or surfing a tidal wave can become one of the most exhilarating dream experiences, rather than one of anxiety or fear. Just one of the may rewards of working on our dreams and coming to know our own subconscious mind better!
Thanks to these two websites for the amazing art:
www.richmondroadstudios.com.au/lisa_conolly.htm
http://chrissiecool.deviantart.com/art/Tidal-Wave-82334414?moodonly=69&offset=10
Have you awoken to realise you were still dreaming?
Lucid dreams are when we become aware that we are dreaming while we are still asleep. For some people this comes naturally, by accident; for others, it can be a goal they strive towards for many years; and yet for others, it can be something we have never really thought about.
If lucid dreaming is something that we want to achieve, it can be possible to imporve our chances with effort and concentration.
Some of the ways to work on achieving awareness in our dreams are:
- to try and focus on our hands (see: Dream Symbols: Body Parts: Hands)
- to try and recognise that we are dreaming in a false awakening (see: False Awakenings: A dream within a Dream)
- to try and become aware of the edge of sleep and wakefullness that occurs during sleep paralysis (see: Sleep Paralysis: A Special Kind of Nightmare)
- to confront something frightenning in our dreams on the pretext that it is “just a dream” (see: Nightmares: Part 1)
There are other methods to achieving lucidity in dreams, but these are some of the most common ways to start. The challenge within lucid dreaming is always to try and maintain the balance of staying conscious enough to know that you are dreaming, but never to get too excited or over aware so that you wake your self up. But with practice and patience it is entirley possible to become aware in your dreams, and to enhance your overall dreaming experience.
What is your view of the world?
When we notice eyes in a dream, they often seem profoundly striking. Sometimes we will even wake and remember those eyes as the single most memorable image of the dream. It can be as if those eyes see through us to our very soul, or as if when we look into those eyes we see something deeper there, some kind of wisdom or insight that knows more then we can ever say. And yet when we remember that everything in our dream is a part of us, it becomes clear that dreaming of eyes is a way of looking into ourselves.
We may dream of human eyes, of animal eyes or our own eyes. We may dream the eyes are wise, kindly, and understanding, or they may be startling, vivid and piercing. Animal eyes may thrill us with their wild power, or scare us with their predatory gaze. In these dreams it is helpful to try and relate to the animal. Think, it is my dream, my head, I am the tiger in the jungle – how does it feel? What are you doing as a tiger? You may discover hidden strengths you didn’t know you had!
The way the eyes look at us can be surprise us and amaze us. These dreams are often signs that we are starting to see things in new ways, that we are discarding old ways of thinking for new ones, that we are losing our prejudices to see things as they really are, or that we are learning new things about ourself, new qualities that we never thought we had.
Dream eyes can seem to look right into your soul
To dream of eyes is not simply about how we see the world and ourselves, these dreams can also have wider meanings associated with the eye’s abilities to convey truth despite no words being spoken. We might like to consider such phrases as:
- To “avert one’s eyes”, as when we look away so as not to witness something horrific or shameful; out of shame, fear, shyness or subordination so as not to meet another’s gaze who we wish to remain hidden from
- The “scales falling away from one’s eyes” is reference to gaining sight after blindness, and can symbolise when we see something as it really is for the first time
- To be a “seer” is a role that involves looking into the future or seeing events far away, which in dreams can symbolise a growing understanding of our place in the world, how our actions have repercussions far away in distance and in time
- An “eye for an eye” can symbolise justice and equality, or it may have negative connotations to some of base violence and revenge
- To “turn a blind eye” is to ignore something, and in a dream may ask us what are we choosing not to see, that we really know is there, or going on?
- “Apple of my eye” is a symbol of great affection, something to be cherished, particularly when times are difficult
- “More than meets the eye” might mean we are only looking at a situation from superficial perspective, and maybe we ought to take a second look and see what we might be missing
- “Eye catching” can mean something that deserves our attention
- “Shut-eye” can indicate the need for sleep, rest, or maybe just to slow down and take a holiday!
- The “eye of the storm” can mean the centre of something, and usually a moment of peace to find respite amidst a stressful, emotional or chaotic time
- The “eye of a needle” is a symbol of small details, it can mean attempting to force something that is never going to work (like threading a rope through the eye of a needle) or it can refer to an area that you are paying meticulous attention to
Do you see things for what they really are?
Because the eyes don’t lie, in dreams they will often appear to reveal to us something we either didn’t want to see, have just become ready to see, or something that is too profound to put into words. The language we speak with eyes is universal, every human can tell a smiling eye from a crying one. We know our deep feelings show in our eyes, be it love, anger or hurt. We look away when we don’t want someone to know what is really going on inside us. By our dreams are inside us. We can not look away from ourselves.
Our dreams may ask to consider if we are shortsighted, in that maybe there is something important we are overlooking, or maybe we haven’t considered all the long term implications of our choices and need to consider a longer term view. If we are wearing glasses, have lost glasses or need them for the first time, this can be a sign that it may be a good idea to take a look at ourself, our choices and check that we have all the right information before we proceed. Maybe we didn’t see something we should have.
The eyes really are the windows to the soul, and when we notice eyes in a dream it can be a way of looking directly at our own soul, of seeing deep inside our own subconscious. Dreaming of eyes can reveal what is really going on, or that we aren’t really looking in the right direction. But justice is blind, and so too is love. Sometimes what we know is more than what the eyes can see.
Have you ever had a dream you knew you would remember for the rest of your life?
I have mentioned in various entries that we should pay attention to all our dreams (see “Resist the Urge to Judge”) as they all have important things to teach us, and sometimes it is the very things that seem trivial or that we would prefer to ignore that contain the most valuable lessons. As we learn to respect and listen to everything our dreaming mind has to say to us, like a shy wild animal that we seek to befriend, gradually our dreams will come out into the open, revealing themselves to us and sharing their secrets. All dreams can be helpful. All dreams are valuable.
But that does not mean all dreams are the same. As we learn to work with our dreams, to pay attention to the small, the shadowy, the vague and elusive, we enter into a realm of our minds that is far from small or vague. We enter our subconscious. And our subconscious is vast, expansive and awe inpsiring. When we enter our subconscious we can commune with our deeper self, our higher self and sometimes something even more.
Sometimes amongst the dreams of driving the car, running away, of friends, family, animals and other strange scraps and obscure fragments of dreams, we are lucky enough to have a big dream. We know a big dream when we have one. Big dreams stand out from other dreams as the sunlight stands out from a candle. Big dreams exult us. Big dreams inspire us. Big dreams fill us with awe, wonder and reverence.
Big dreams can defy our attempts to describe them
Big dreams often defy our attempts to describe them, as mere words seem so inadequate to capture a sensation that seems to transfuse our very being. These dreams may create a sense of us travelling through space, of flying to heaven, but even more than that, we may feel a sort of expansion, as though we become one with the universe, as if our body dissolves or the boundary between what we think is of as “self” versus what is “other” kind of fades away. Big dreams seem to connect us with something far greater than ourself. This dream may not have a story, characters or even a sense of place. It could be that even describing the feelings that you have in this context does not do justice to the sensations you experience in a big dream.
But as amazing and as exhilarating as they are, big dreams are not for the chasing. Even the most inexperienced dream worker can have a big dream. They are not the preserve of any dream elite, they do not come because we practice, or because we apply discipline or method. Big dreams can come to anyone, anywhere. They are a gift to all humanity. Big dreams allow us all to be visionaries or poets. They may come when we seek, or are in need. Or they may simply come for reasons we will never entirely consciously understand.
We may have only one big dream in our life, or we may be lucky enough to have several. But when you do, you can be sure you will remember it. Big dreams stay with us forever. It is no understatement to say that big dreams may even change our life permanently. And for that we should be eternally grateful.
What do you want to hold onto, and what do you choose to let go?
Dreaming of our hands is actually not as common as many other parts of the body, but when we do dream of our hands or anothers, it often seems to have an unusually strong significance. Dreaming of hands is often a sign of self awareness, of taking control of our own life and destiny, or or of making an impact through our own actions on another person or the world around us at large. The unusual act of actually looking at your own hands in a dream is used by some to achieve lucidity, that is, to realise that they are actually dreaming.
The process works by “programming” your mind when you are awake, so that you remember to look at your hands in a dream, and follow that with the intent that when you do so this will trigger your awareness and remind you that you are alseep.*
Our own hands in dreams are often taken for granted, many times simply functioning as tools which we use to make things happen, though we tend to focus more on the action and result than how we made this happen. If we stop long enough to notice our hands in our dreams, it can be a sign that we are becoming aware of our own influence, or lack of it. Dreaming of another person’s hands can often feel very intimate. The two profound symbols of another’s hands in a positive context are of “holding hands” and of the “helping hand.” Both of these images require us to let someone else into our lives, to be open to love, affection, consideration or assistance. For this reason, hand dreams can leave us with a lingering feeling of happiness and warmth long into the day. These dreams may indicate that we are receiving assistance, affection or support from another in a waking life, but in many cases they are a symbolic representation that we are learning how to help our selves, that we are being kind to our selves where once we may have been a harsh judge, that we are befriending a part of ourselves that once we may have ignored or rejected, or even that we are healing a part of ourselves that once was sick and neglected.
Of course, as with any dream symbol, there can also be a negative image. We may be noticing our hands in our dreams for the first time because they are empty, which may lead us to think what have we let go of, given up on, or given away that leaves us feeling “empty handed.” Hands can also be used to strike, to hold back and to push away. These kind of dreams invite us to question what controls or restrictions are we inflicting on our lives that prevent us from achieving what we want, or going where we choose. In short, how are we jeopardising our actions, and acting as our own worse enemy?
Hands in dreams can leave us feelingwarm and happy well after waking
As with all symbols, looking at the ways we use words around hands can help us make sense of what they mean in our own personal context. Some suggestions include:
- If the hands are actually red, it may imply to be caught “red handed.” This may cause us to question if there is something in life we feel guilty about, a behaviour we don’t feel proud of and may wish to stop before somebody knows. Or maybe we secretly want to be found out, to bring an issue that we are afraid to speak about into the open
- If you are looking at the back of your hand, it could mean there is something in your life you “know like the back of your hand”, or wish that you did!
- Shaking hands is often a sign of making a deal (maybe you have made a pact with your self, or made a commitment to your self) but it can also mean a greeting, introduction or parting (maybe some new aspect of your personality is becoming apparent to you)
- To bite the hand that feeds you is to show an attack against something that is actually supporting you
- Something that is “handy” is easy and accessible, just as to “get a handle on things” can be understand them and start to control them more easily
- To “get the upper hand” can be to gain an advantage in a certain situation
- To be “even handed” implies to be fair
- To be “open handed” suggests honesty and generosity
- To “give someone a hand” can either be to offer help, or to show appreciation, as in a “round of applause”
- To “put one’s hand up” can mean to volunteer, or offer to speak up
- The “laying of hands” can be a profound healing, maybe at a physical level, but maybe a more emotional or even spiritual level
- A “hand-out” is often something given for free, but may imply charity, pity or a sense of lack
- To do something “by hand” (raised by hand, fed by hand, made by hand etc.) implies a high level or personal involvement, and therefore may also mean a great degree of care, interest, craftsmanship, love, authenticity, time, uniqueness, effort and be the counter to “machine made” or manufactured. (Of course, hand made in this context can also imply lower quality, not as modern, and being foreced due to budgetry constraints. Only you will know what a hand made dress or birthday card means to you!)
- As Ben Harper said, ”We can change the world with our own two hands”
While hands themselves can have symbolic meaning our dreams, just as in our waking life, our hands can tell us things by what we do with them. We communicate with our hands, we wave goodbye and hello, we gesture to come closer, to follow or to move away. We make things with our hands, we shape the world, our lives, we create and we control how things work. And with our hands we touch others, be it in kindness, with passion or to inflict pain. Our hands in dreams can reveal to us how we treat ourselves, and what we are doing to shape and control our own mind, influence our relationships and build the life we want to live.
*(I first came across this in “The Art of Dreaming by Carlos Castenda, but I don’t know if he pioneered the process)
Relax! Is it time to take a mental break?
By now it should be starting to become apparent that we can’t work on dreams without working on our self, and vice versa. Our dreams are a product of our mind, and all that we think and feel, and consequently say and do, comes from what is going on in our minds.
As a result, the common stress and anxiety that we feel day to day can have far reaching implications. If we think of our dreams when we are happy and healthy as like clear, vivid, full colour, high definition film or TV, then dreams when we are stressed or anxious are like trying to watch TV when the aerial has gone, or when static interrupts the channels. It as if we can see something is going on, sometimes we can make a vague picture, or understand the odd word, but we can’t grasp enough of what is going to make sense of it all. Anxiety is like static in our brain.
Often we suffer from a consistent but “low-level” anxiety. This means we are not majorly stressed by worrying about a particular big bad thing (such as the stress of a partner or loved on passing away, moving house, divorce, changing jobs, adding or losing new members to the household and so on), but more that we have a constant sense of worry, of things being not quite right, even though we aren’t sure exactly why. With low level anxiety like this we may have confusing or stressful dreams that try to work through our concerns, or we may experience the exact opposite. Sometimes when we are so distracted with stressful thoughts through-out the day, the dreaming mind likes to take a bit of a holiday when we are asleep, and use the excuse to forget about all our hassles and concerns and let our imagination loose on something fun and light and happy and above all – stress free. This can be a great release for us, a way to cope with pressures that otherwise might feel too much to bear.
The trouble is, we are so used to thinking these stressful thoughts that when we wake, the first thing that pops into our head are all the things we have do that day, all the things we didn’t finish yesterday, all the things we have to worry about tomorrow. And any memory we might have had of a happy, stress-free dream vanishes like snow under a blow torch.
Now, if we can learn to remember our happy dreams, we can carry that feeling into our waking lives and feel less anxious. If we can learn to remember our problem solving dreams, we can apply those solutions in our waking life and feel less anxious. And when we fell less anxious, we are more likely to remember our dreams, because we won’t be worrying the first thing when we wake up, right? So this is what we refer to as positive reinforcement.
The trick is to break the negative loop that makes us feel anxious and forget our dreams. We can do this by a few different approaches. Try different ones and see what works best for you, it may mean focusing on one thing or a combination of methods.
- Identify the cause. I am personally a great believer in trying to identify the cause of my anxiety. It is usually something I have put off doing that I know I really should, or something I don’t want to think about. I find, by simply doing the task at last, or facing up to the thing I have been avoiding, is often enough to make my anxiety vanish.
- Make a list of what you can control and what you can’t. Tell yourself there is really no point worrying about the things you can’t change, but then put steps beside the things you can and give yourself a nice, unstressed time period to do these things in. If you feel powerless but anxious about global warming, chose some activities that make a real difference in your life, such as taking up recycling, catching public transport, or even joining an action group; if it is economic concerns, try drawing up a personal budget, making an appointment with a financial planner or setting out a plan to get rid of your credit card debt. What ever it is, recognise that you can take control over your own situation. As you gain a a sense of personal power, low level anxiety often diminishes or goes away completely.
We can use our awareness to reduce the static that anxiety causes in our minds
- Practice self awareness. Anxiety is often a gnawing feeling at the back of our mind, and even though we feel uncomfortable, we don’t admit it to ourselves. If we start to recognise that we are in fact stressed, we can start to do something about it. If we practice paying attention to what the first thoughts are that come into our minds when we wake in the morning, this is often a good clue. We should all most of the time wake thinking “mmm, what a lovely sleep, what fascinating, beautiful dreams, oh I am so lucky to be alive! What a wonderful day I have ahead!” (Wouldn’t it be nice?) On the other hand, if we wake thinking “Got to get up, got that meeting today and didn’t finish the presentation yesterday so best get in early, and didn’t do my ironing last night but need to wear my good shirt for the presentation, and think it’s rubbish day today, and when is the credit card payment due?…” You get the picture. As we start to notice what we think, we can start to change it if we don’t like it. We can take back control of our run-away thoughts.
- Practice physical and mental relaxation. We all have our own ways. For some it is meditation or yoga, for others it is golf or running, or sewing, gardening, fishing or making model planes. Whatever it is that makes you relax, take time out, and focus the channel of your mind so you get rid of that static, it is a good idea to make time for that in your life. It really can make a difference.
- Remember to breathe. I know it sounds crazy because we all breathe to stay alive, sure. But whenever you feel anxious when you are awke, when you first wake from sleeping, just stop the run-away mind for a moment and breathe. Do it consciously, deliberately – think about it. Beathe in and out deeply. Do this at least three times and chances are you will better than you could have expected for such a seemingly simple thing. Breathe…….breathe………………breathe………………………………..
So it may seem strange to some to say that fishing or paying off the credit card will help you remember your dreams better, but the fact is, the more we can free our minds to do what they are meant to do, which is help us, teach us, heal and inspire us, the better our minds will be able to serve us. Our dreaming lives and waking lives are not as separate as we may think. A few small changes in one area can result in great rewards in another. And the beauty is, that once we start making positive changes, the reinforcing loop will help keep us going for the better.
