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Do you see the same words in your day-time journal as you do in your dream records?
Sometimes we need a breakthrough when working on dreams. Sometimes it can seems as if we labour day and night to understand what our dreams are telling us, and though we may feel we can decipher the symbols, somehow the greater meaning, the real insight that makes go “yes! I get it!” still manages to elude us.
At times like these, it can help to write a journal, or diary. Keeping a record of daytime activities, thoughts, feelings and relationships can be an incredibly useful tool to understanding both our dreams, and consequently, our entire selves, much more clearly. A day time record and reflection of life is a complement to our night time dream records and reflections. The two work together, like night and day, dark and light, subconscious and conscious, providing balance and unity to our self exploration.
If you are unfamiliar or new to journaling, there a few things to keep in mind as you get started. Firstly, keep it light. This activity is not meant to feel like a chore, but should be something you enjoy. Don’t worry how many pages you write or how often you do it. Just do it when you feel inspired, or need to get something off your chest. It shouldn’t weigh you down. Secondly, write what you feel. That’s not to say you shouldn’t write about what events and relationships are happening in your life, as these can be really helpful in giving a context to what is going on. But equally, a journal should not be like a shopping list. “Got up, went to work, traffic bad, filed report, came home, went to gym, ate dinner, went to bed” – this is not a particularly useful journal entry. ”Can’t be bothered writing today, feel so tired and work is stressing me out. But relieved I at least finished that report” would be a far more useful entry. Journaling should include what we think and feel, as well as what we do.
Does reflecting on dreams make life look a little different?
Keeping a journal in this way, and reflecting back on what we have written from time to time can be a helpful tool in coming to understand ourselves better, just on its own. But when we combine this activity with the practice of doing dream work, we can notice far more powerful and profound effects. We may start to discover things about ourselves that are really surprising, we may reach real breakthroughs in understanding, things that change how we look at ourselves and the world, things that change what we believe and how we behave.
In order to do this, we can start by looking for connections. Though this is the easiest and most obvious way to start, it can provide really interesting insights. We may write a record of dream such as “dreamed of trying to call my mother, but the person on the other end of the phone says its my office, and keeps putting me on hold and won’t connect me. All I keep hearing is static.” So for dream work we might analyse the symbols and think we aren’t able to communicate (the phone) with our wise caring self (mother). But somehow this doesn’t really ring true enough. Maybe it doesn’t feel wrong, but its like we are still missing something.
So we start journaling. And one day we write “I just don’t feel satisfied at work anymore, I feel like my life is on hold and I wish I could just do something more creative.” Suddenly the dream takes on a new meaning. Being “on hold” we notice as words both in our dream record, and in our journal. And now the “mother” is not simply our wise caring self, but the creative part of our personality that we are putting on hold by being in the office all day. As this dream is resolved and understood, it makes way for new dreams to come, ones that don’t simply articulate the problem, but can even provide a solution.
Another way dream records and journaling can work to provide new insight is by identifying patterns. This takes time and patience, and requires looking back over dreams and day time reflections to notice how certain dreams may correspond with certain feelings or actions. Maybe we frequently dream of tidal waves when deadlines are approaching, or of a wild animal after a night with a lover. These patterns can start to help us decode the symbols in our dreams, so when the symbol turns up again, we know what it is referring to. As we become more skillful with this art, our dreams may even start to put the familiar symbols together in new ways to help reveal even deeper meaning. Maybe we will dream of a wild animal facing a tidal wave, as we approach a deadline to marriage, for example. Our dreams, confident we understand the animal and the tidal wave, help us to understand and cope with feelings in new situations. This is one way dreams help us to grow and learn.
Today, I am looking at the question of guilt, specifically in regards to an affair, on our dreams.
The first thing to remember when trying to understand our dreams, is that we are trying to understand ourselves. If we have behaved in any way that causes us feelings of conflict, our dreams will try and resolve this conflict. Instead of thinking, “how has this action impacted my dreams?” a more helpful route would be to try and start undertsanding what is at the heart of this matter – which, to excuse the pun – is your heart. And usually not just yours, but two other people as well; the new lover and the first partner. Before you judge yourself harshly, or alternatively, let yourself off the hook entirely, it is important to understand honestly why you did what you did. Dreams can help us to gently explore these deeper motivations that we may not want to face up to in real life.
This is where dream work can become really valuable. Maybe the reason for having an affair is that the current relationship is not meeting our expectations in some way, and having an affair is a way of “getting back at” your partner, of filling a need your current partner doesn’t. Maybe the affair comes from learned behaviour in childhood, where one or both parents had affairs, and you subconsciously integrated this as normal. Maybe the reason is because you have been emotionally hurt, and now seek to jeopordise what happiness you may have as a means of control, or becuase you feel you don’t deserve it. These are a but a few reasons, and our dreams can help us understand what might be at work in each personal situations. Look for references to the past, people you have known, to help understand what may be at the centre of your problem.
But this is just the first step. The next step is what to do about it. Our dream’s ultimate goal is to provide resolution to conflict. We all know the pharse “sleep easy” when some one is entirely at peace with themself and their choices in life. But so few of us are all the time – this is what living and learning is all about. If you have had an affair and feel soem degree of discomfort about it, look to your dreams for suggestions as to what to do about it. Maybe your dreams will help you decide who you would rather be with, but at the very least, they should help illuminate what your motivations are, what your insecurities are, and what it menas to be loved to you.
Our dreams will always challenge us to do what we know deep down is the right thing. Our dreams are the voice of our conscience tapping us on the shoulder, or when we don’t listen, shouting to us loudly, maybe in the form of nightmares or recurring dreams. But dreams don’t stand in judgement of us, they are afterall, our deeper slef, and are acting with our best self interest at heart. Our dreams will try and help us, guide us, counsel us. But if we ignore there good advice, be prepared for a few sleepness nights and some rather forceful dream messengers!
Finally, if understanding your dreams during these times is too confronting and difficult, try to work with them more abstractly to begin with. Try putting your dream images and messages into poems (it doesn’t have to be good, or even rhyme, this is for your eyes only!) or you could even try to paint or draw your dreams. The important thing is to take time to reflect. Be gentle but firm and disciplined with yourself. Soon you should start working through the confusion, and know what the right thing to do is. And with a more peaceful life, more peaceful dreams should soon follow.
Is your dream monster really as scary as it seems?
In our dreams strange and unusual creatures exist. Some fascinate us, some terrify us. Monsters seem to come from somewhere deep in our imagination, and can create a particularly strong impact. We tell children that monsters aren’t real and smile indulgently as we explain them away. But somehow it seems different when we dream of monsters ourselves as adult. So why is it that we dream of monsters?
Things in our dreams are usually symbolic, and very few more so than monsters. Monsters are our very own personal symbols, often cobbled together from different creatures in stories, films and even mythology. Monsters can come from deep within our subconscious, so they may have a very important message to tell us. The very nature of monsters, that they are creatures of imagination, usually indicates we are dealing with something we don’t want to face, or something we don’t understand.
We can go back to the basics of dream work to understand what our own monsters mean to us. We can describe how the monster make us feel, and then look for situations in life where we are feeling the same way. Are we feeling threatened? Harassed? Under pressure? Is this something we are feeling at work, in a relationship or with a choice we have to make?
We can also try the action of describing the monster in basic words as we would to a child. We can look at the colour of the monster and what it it is doing. (see “colours” post.) Is the monster big and overwhelming, or sneaky and sly? This may indicate how we feel about a certain problem or dilemma in our lives. Remembering also, that symbols in our dreams are usually a reflection of parts of our own selves, monsters can be a part or our own personality we don’t want to admit to. Is the monster angry? Maybe there is something in our life that we are mad at ourselves for, and now need to forgive ourselves. Is the monster faceless, maybe even invisible, but hounding us none the less? This can be a problem in life, a behaviour or issue that we are running from. Now it might be time to face the creature that pursues us. Very often a bad monster dream can be about the parts of our own personality we like the least. These kind of dreams ask us to face what we don’t like, change what we can, and be kind to ourselves for those things beyond our control. Is the monster hungry, and maybe wants to eat us? This can indicate we have a habit, maybe even a compulsion or addiction that is “consuming us.” It might be time for a more balanced approach to life. Are we attacking the monster, trying to kill it? This might be an angry reaction to a part or our-self we can’t accept. Maybe we should stop judging ourselves by other people’s standards, and accept and love ourselves for who we really are. Or it may be a symbol of illness, and our body trying to attack an invading infection or disease that our subconscious mind is aware of.
Is there something you would rather not face?
Monsters in dreams can be our fears made manifest, but not all dreams of monsters are bad ones. Sometimes a monster can be harmless, helpful or even amusing. Such dreams may come after we face a scary monster in our dreams, or as we start to confront the problems or concerns we have in waking life. These kind of dreams may help us to understand the transitions from fear to freedom, with the changing monster helping us understand our own transitions. Some monster dreams may be of mysterious, but not particularly worrying monsters. These kind of dreams may indicate a powerful period of transformation occurring, with new skills and outlooks on life developing inside us that we cannot fully understand or recognise yet. We may even be lucky to have a visit from a part of ourselves deep within our subconscious mind, that arise like a creature from the deep to help or guide us at an important juncture in our lives.
The thing to remember with monster dreams, is that they come from within our own minds. If we can be brave and true enough to really face and understand them, most monsters aren’t really so scary after-all. In fact, they may even turn out to be our friends.
Are your feelings frozen instead of flowing freely?
As fires and record high temperatures bake parts of the planet, others are locked in snow and ice, freezing those places with record low temperatures. So with such extremes of weather around us, it is no wonder that a potent symbol like ice might start appearing in our dreams. For those melting in the heat, dreams of ice may provide a welcome relief, at least at a subconscious level; while for those in freezing conditions, to dream of ice may be the subconscious mind calling on images and sensations close to hand to form part of a bigger story.
But as we know is so common with dreams, very rarely will a dream have simply such a literal meaning as those above. What then, is the role of ice in our dreams? As usual, that will depend very much on what the circumstances of our lives are, and what our personal associations to ice may be.
As water is often a reflection of our inner emotional, creative or spiritual state, to dream of ice may be an indication of some feelings we have turned off inside so that we no longer feel them – freezing them and not letting them flow. These feelings may have even been frozen for so long, that we now do not recognise or remember them. If the ice is melting, this could indicate that long forgotten feelings are starting to come to life, thawing just as the ice does in spring to let the new life emerge. This is a wonderful dream symbol and a reason to be excited! If the ice is only starting, it could be a sign of great hurt or shock, and an inner desire to freeze any feelings so they cause less suffering. But this dream can be a warning, for feelings are not meant to be frozen but to flow freely. If our subconscious shows the start of ice, it may be a sign to seek emotional support, or do some soul searching and recognise where in our lives we are starting to shut ourselves off, before a real ice age sets in.
Ice is cold, so when relating to our emotions, this can indicate that we
Are your feelings beginning to thaw?
are some how being cold in life, and maybe should consider showing someone we know some warmth. Alternatively, ice dreams may be reflecting the “frosty” reception we feel we have received from someone else, who perhaps was not welcoming or gave us the “cold shoulder.”
Ice in dreams can have other meanings beyond frozen emotions. As we freeze foods to keep them longer and we know of fossils being found in ice, ice can be a symbol of preservation. We may dream of ice when we feel we are working hard to “simply survive” either emotionally or financially, or when we feel we have successfully emerged from such a time with our souls intact.
Icy landscapes also have a certain beauty, which can symbolise wildness, extremes, adventure or isolation to some. Ice dreams to some may be cleansing and purifying, and refreshing to the senses. Or sometimes to dream of being in icy water or of having an icy shower can be a wake-up call, shocking our senses into something that we had perhaps become too relaxed about to notice, like taking a cold shower.
We can also look at how ice may used in language and what was hapenning in our dreams. If we are “skating (or walking) on thin ice” we may know subconsciously that we are taking a large risk, and perhaps should be careful. If in our dream we are “breaking the ice” it may indicate that perhaps there is someone we should approach and get to know better, or maybe we recently have started to.
Unless ice is a part of our regular existence, it is likely that ice dreams are reflecting a temporary state, like the state of water which can move between fluid, gas or solid as ice. If we dream of ice it may be time to look at our feelings, our creativity and our behaviour. It may be time to let the sunshine into our lives, and to feel the warmth and flow of life again.
