Now a new television show is exploring SP with HH in a “ghostly” themed new series.  Anyone who has experienced SP with HH will attest to its frightening nature, and while the TV show does deal with the interviewees sympathetically, it also seems to add to the aura of “weirdness” surrounding this phenomenon.

I feel it always useful to discuss previously taboo or off-limits experiences like this so firstly, those who experience them know they are not alone, and secondly, to help educate those who may not be aware of these things.  But does this show help the cause, or serve to alienate those who have experienced SP with HH by making them out as freakish and unlike the rest of society?

What do you think?

http://www.ghosttheory.com/2010/02/09/‘ghostly-encounters’-producer-looks-for-more-tales

If it was good enough for JFK and Winston Churchill...

As if we needed more excuses that sleeping and dreaming is beneficial to our health, new studies show that a quick nap can do us a world of good, and actually make us smarter!  The common belief that “sleeping is a waste of time” is increasingly being challenged, and I am happy to report any scientific evidence that justifies beliefs to the contrary.  We frequently hear stories of CEO’s and leaders like Margaret Thatcher who proudly claim they subsist only merely a few hours sleep a night, but perhaps we should be looking more to other leaders such as Winston Churchill and J.F. Kennedy, who were strong proponents of the afternoon nap.  If you are lucky enough to live in a country where siestas are still the norm, you will no doubt already believe in the value of 40 winks in the afternoon. If not, finding a way to catch a few zzz’s at an appropriate time of day should be something we have no need to feel ashamed of!  Just tell your boss you are emulating some of the greatest leaders of our time!  And that the research backs you up!

Read the full article here:

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/wired-success/201003/how-biphasic-sleep-schedule-can-make-you-smarter

As a result, there is a wealth of information on sleeping and dreaming being contributed by a huge range of bloggers, so I recommend popping by to have a browse.  Click on the tags to find articles that are relevant to you.

If you are short on time, a couple of blogs I would suggest are here:

A Jungian approach in simple language: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/gary-trosclair-lcsw/a-jungian-analysis-of-dre_b_448681.html

A great review of products to help you sleep (or not!): http://www.huffingtonpost.com/cindi-leive/sleep-challenge-2010-man_b_446579.html

A wise, down o earth summary of how to get to know your dreams better: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/anne-naylor/getting-the-most-out-of-y_b_438047.html

Enjoy!

Click on the link to read more about each particular dream symbol or theme.

Dream Symbols: Tidal Wave Dream Symbols: Driving the Car Dream Symbols: Animal Dreams: Snakes Dream Symbols: Stairs, Staircases and Li Dream Symbols: Headless or Decapitated! Dream Symbols: Plants and Trees and Flow Dream Symbols: Sex Part 1: Making Love Dream Symbols: Body Parts: Head and Brai How to Understand Symbols, Metaphors Dream Symbols: New Rooms in the House
]]> http://thedreamwell.wordpress.com/2010/02/02/what-are-the-most-common-dreams/feed/ 0 Author http://thedreamwell.wordpress.com/2010/02/02/colour-in-dreams/ http://thedreamwell.wordpress.com/2010/02/02/colour-in-dreams/#comments Mon, 01 Feb 2010 21:28:34 +0000 Author http://thedreamwell.wordpress.com/?p=995 ]]> I recently came across this site that may prove useful when trying to understand the roles of colour in your dreams:

http://www.dreamscience.org/idx_dream_language.htm#Color%20Questionnaire

Feeling confused by a dream with a surprising partner?

A friend recently confided in that despite being straight, and happily married with a new child and another on the way, he had been having recurrent dreams about a gay man he used to know, that they were lovers and decorating a house together.  A very successful business man who explained he is not homophobic in any way, this dream still made him feel incredibly uncomfortable.  Did this dream indicate that secretly, deep down, he really was gay?

While this may be true in some cases, we would do well to remember that in most cases, our dreams are not literal but symbolic, and the person is on our dream is very often a reflection of our own selves  (see my post on “people.”)  So how com this doesn’t mean you are likely to be gay?  Or if you are gay, and dream of love with a straight person, or a person of the opposite gender, that you are straight?

I asked my friend to describe the attributes this person had.  He used words like “friendly,” “warm,” “affectionate,” and “kind.”  When I then asked him our his perceptions of himself had changed recently, he replied “what, since I became a father?”  This reply came unprompted, but it gives valuable insight.

Gay or straight dreams ask to question our previously held view on gender roles – what it means to be a man or woman.  My friend had previously defined himself as being a man through his successful business, his intellect, and even his relationship with his wife.  But becoming a father was causing a deep and significant change in his perception of what it means to be a good and successful “man.”  Now instead of seeing himself as strong, driven, intellectual and great with technology, he was learning to value the “softer” sides of his personality that his new child was brining out him – qualities of caring, gentleness and affection.  He was also becoming more interested in humanities whereas previously he had been very focussed on technical details and business.  The dream of having a gay partner for this man was a way for his subconscious to explore these new traits and help integrate them into his personality.  Interestingly, this dream was also in no way about sex, in his dream the two were decorating their home together, again relating back to his new found focus on family, home and his own inner world, rather than the traditionally “masculine” areas he had previously focussed his life on of business and technology.

To dream of another person in our dream can give us great insight into our own personality.  To dream of a person of the opposite gender preference to what is usual for us should lead us to question how we are learning new ways to understand what it means to be a man or woman, and to open our eyes that the roles we play are perhaps not as opposite as they sometimes seem.  And maybe it can even help us to understand people who are different from us a little better, too.

(See posts on “People”, “Sex Dreams”, “Embrace or Hug”)

How can we make sure we aren't making the same resolutions again this time next year?

New Year is a wonderful time of self-reflection.  For many, it is the chance to take a moment to think about what we want from life, how happy we are with ourselves and what we want to change.  Of course, this kind of reflection also often leads to resolutions.  Working with dreams is also an intensely self-reflective process, but all the reflection in the world is no good unless it is followed up with action.  This is precisely what dream work is about – taking the time to reflect, to learn, and then put this new knowledge into action.  So how can dreams help us keep those resolutions and make this year one to say “we did it”, rather than come around the same time next year with an all too familiar list of resolutions to try to keep all over again?

Here is my top ten list of tips for how to make those resolutions stick, and to bring those “dreams” we have “to life.”

1. Don’t stop reflecting once the new year date is over: We often stop just once a year to think about ourselves, what motivates us, what we really want, what we are afraid of and what holds us back.  This is a great first step, but to really make our resolutions stick, we need to keep paying attention to what is going on inside us.  To really understand ourselves better, we need to keep up this process all year long.  Paying attention regularly to how we feel and what is going on inside us will help us recognise early on when we are feeling the temptation to give up, when we have conflicting desires and aims.  It may be tricky to find the time every day, so try to schedule in at least one hour every week, maybe a Sunday before the new week starts, to stop and think.  We should ask ourselves, “how am I feeling?  what is working for me now and what challenges am I facing?”  Being conscious of these small changes in our mood and commitment will help keep us on track.

2. Write your dreams down: if you aren’t already doing this, this is one of the key ways to start noticing what is going on in our subconscious.  You don’t have to write to every single detail or analyse every single dream, but starting to pay attention to our dreams and recording them can prove helpful when we need to look back later and understand what was happening in our subconscious mind, even if it didn’t seem important at the time.

3. Look for signs of conflict in your dreams: conflict in dreams can tell us a lot about the “battles raging within us.”  When we set resolutions, we are attempting to change a pattern of behaviour or belief that we have held for some time.  We can force these changes on the outside, but only when we truly accept them at our deepest level will change really happen in our lives.  Conflict in dreams will show us what we are “fighting” against on a symbolic level, and help us make longer lasting, meaningful change in our lives.  Are you trying to give up a certain food and dream of fighting a wild animal?  This could be a sign of trying to exert your control over your desire, like a hungry beast that needs to be tamed.  Are you trying to spend more time with the family, and dream of being trapped in a cage?  This could be a sign you feel your work is restricting your freedom, and you need to find a way to escape.

4. Look for clues to help you win in your dreams: just as our dreams can symbolically play out the battle going on inside us to keep our resolutions, so too can they show clues that will help us triumph in waking life.  Once you have recognised the conflict that is occurring inside you, pay attention to how this conflict plays out in your dreams.  If you don’t win at first, that’s ok, this is representative of your subconscious trying to absorb the goals your conscious mind is sending it.  But as you stay committed, or have small successes, your subconscious mind will seize on these and incorporate them into your dream.  The trick is to understand your own symbols and realise what your dreams are telling you.  If you are dieting and dreamed of a wolf attacking you, maybe you notice that the wolf always bites your right hand.  Maybe if you start eating with your left hand in waking life, this will force you to eat slower, helping you to enjoy your food and making you feel full sooner so you eat less.  Or maybe you beat the wolf by drowning it.  This could mean you decide to drink water instead of snacking on unhealthy foods, or that you take up swimming so the exercise lets you eat some of the foods you still like, or maybe your realise the water represents your emotions, and you eat when depressed, so this awareness can help you stop comfort eating.  Or you may decide all 3 things are relevant!  It is up to you to recognise what your own symbols may mean to you, and what is helpful.  (Looking around this blog may help to decipher some of those symbols.)

What do you want to change about where your life is going?

5. Look for signs of new beginnings: our dreams can help encourage us and let us know when we are on the right path.  We may feel despondent and want to give up in waking life, but our dreams can give us symbols of hope, that if we recognise them, we can use for motivation to keep going in our waking life.  Good symbols of new beginnings might be a baby appearing in the dream, planting seeds, picking flowers or harvesting, walking through a door, passage way or path into a new room or clearing, discovering new rooms in the house or finding a magical or powerful object in the dream.  All these things can be significant signs that the change we are struggling with while awake is taking a deep-rooted effect in our subconscious, and if we persist, may be the lasting change we seek.

6. Look for allies and friends in our dreams: when we make a commitment to change in our life, we effectively change the course of our destiny by taking our life, consciously, into our hands.  We decide to break the patterns of habit, or the lessons we learned from the past that no longer serve us.  At times such as these it can feel like we are all alone, stepping into a new territory that we don’t understand, like we are walking into a new world where we don’t know the rules.  At such times, when we are at our most vulnerable, but are also acting with bravery and exerting our will, our subconscious will often call on help to guide us and reassure us through uncertain times.  If you have made a new year’s resolution that requires great effort to keep, look out for friendly figures who appear in your dreams to help you on your way.  Like an explorer at the start of a great adventure, you may be visited in your dreams by a wise elder, talking animals, beautiful mysterious people, an innocent child.  You may even see long lost friends or departed loved ones who come to offer support and advice.  Pay attention to what they say, it can be very helpful.  And even if they don’t say anything particularly wise, rest assured that their very presence is encouragement that the life path you are starting is worth continuing along.  And that surely should be motivating!

7. Ask our dreams to help us: it may seem a strange suggestion, but consider the phrase “sleep on it.”  Our subconscious mind is great at finding patterns, making connections, drawing on resources and in general helping us to solve problems that we grapple with while awake.  If keeping your resolution seems difficult, try asking your dreams for help.  Focus on a clear question such as “what do I need to do to avoid snacking between meals” or “how can I schedule my time better so I have an hour to read my son a bedtime story?” and then either write this question down and read it before sleep, or just focus on it as you go to bed.  Ask your dreams to provide an answer.  You will be surprised what comes up in your dreams when you do!  Again, don’t be discouraged if it doesn’t happen straight away.  If you haven’ communicated with your subconscious in a  while, it may take a while for it to recognise you are trying to reach it.  But with time and patience, it should.

8. Let your dreams be wish fulfillment: many of our new year’s resolutions are about giving something up.  It may be cigarettes, chocolate or an unhealthy relationship.  While many of our dreams may be symbolic signs of reassurance or give us insight into our deeper conflicts and help find ways to resolve them, sometimes we just have full-on fantasy dreams about the thing we are most trying to avoid.  We may have dreams of indulging in a giant chocolate cake, finding a pack of cigarettes hidden in the drawer and enjoying that secret smoke, or running back to our troubled love who welcomes us with a kindness and intimacy we rarely experienced in waking life.  The first thing to realise is this is completely natural! And there is no reason to feel guilty about it.  One of the reasons resolutions are so hard to keep is that we are programmed at a subconscious level to keep doing the very thing we want to change.  Setting a resolution means asserting your conscious mind over your subconscious mind.  It will fight back!  Be prepared for this, recognise it when it happens, it means that change is not too far away.  Break through this barrier and it will get easier.  And in the meantime, tell yourself there is no need to act out your desire in waking life as you have already done it once in your dreams!

9. Enjoy your dreams as escape: all this reflecting and analysing and discipline can get a bit tiresome.  If you are exerting your will frequently in waking life, don’t be afraid to kick back and enjoy your dreams as a bit of time off.  Not every dream has to be about deep internal change.  Let yourself off the hook from time to time, and enjoy your dreams.  Look out for dreams of flying, swimming or running with great freedom, dreams of beautiful places, nature or exciting journeys.  These kind of dreams remind you why you are going through this process – and it is a process, that once you have achieved your goals there is great satisfaction and enjoyment in life to be had.  By focussing on the struggle all the time, it easy to forget the reward.  Let you dreams remind you of the fun and freedom life can have, and carry this happiness with you through-out the day.

10.  Sleep – and don’t feel guilty! : no, not strictly about dreams, but without sleep, we can neither dream nor have the energy to exert our will in keeping resolution.  You are all hopefully aware of how important enough sleep is, but I just want to reiterate it here.  We need sleep to be healthy, happy and wise.  So getting enough sleep, and not feeling guilty about it, should be added to the list of resolutions if it is not there already!

Happy 2010, and Dream Well!

Is it a case of where there's smoke, there's fire in your dreams?

Just for fun, an article from “the Onion” reporting on a bizarre dream as if it were news.  A funny way to highlight the absurdity of dreams, but this article also draws attention the interesting aspect of a repeating theme (or motif) in a dream – in this case smoke.  Usually this kind of insistent recurring message in a single dream occurs for one of two reasons:

1) either there is a strong physical reason in our waking world that is trying to intrude into our sleeping mind to wake us up  (in this case, is there really something burning in the house we should attend to? Similar dream occurences might be of water (waterfalls, lakes, glasses of water etc.) if we are extremely thirsty, toilets when we need to relieve ourselves and so on. Alternatively, this could be a “prodromic dream” – essentially a message from our physical body to our subconscious mind – in this case the dream character telling the dreamer “you are burning up” might be an indicator of a fever and therefore the early onset of an illness;

2) or there may be a really important psychological or personal message we need to take from this dream.  In the case illustrated, where smoke is the issue, the message could be a subconscious recognition of the need to give up smoking.  It could also be a more symbolic message along the lines of “where there is smoke there is fire” and warning of some kind of dangerous behaviour or belief.  Or, more tantalisingly, as the dream character says “you are burning up” – this could be a reference to a new passion, even a love interest that is exciting us so much it seems to consume us, to make us “burn.”

Either way, though this article is funny and the dreamer could well be amused, if I was dreaming this dream I would be paying attention to the warning signs!

To read the article go here:

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/everyone_in_dream_smells_smoke?utm_source=onion_rss_daily

Is there something you don't want to face?

We have looked at how important the process of reflection is in order to understand ourselves and our dreams better, but passive reflection alone is not enough.  If we really want to know what is going on inside our own heads and why things keep happening the way they do in our lives, we need to go a step further.  We need to confront ourselves with absolute honesty.

Unfortunately, the simple desire to look at ourselves honestly is not always enough.  It can be difficult to admit even to ourselves what our true feelings are, what our deeper motivations are.  Dreams can help us understand the truth – sometimes by gently nudging us along until we realise, sometimes by making a really obvious and overt cry for attention – such as a recurring dream or nightmare.  Even if we don’t know exactly what the  dream is trying to tell us, we can be sure if there is something that makes us wake up sweating, or that leaves us with that niggling feeling through-out the day that we can’t ignore, then there is something going on beneath the surface that we really should be paying attention to.

The challenge with these kind of dreams, and any time when we need to confront our selves, is that we might not like what we see.  We become very adept at hiding from ourselves.  The reasons for this can vary, and only you will know what is really going on in your own situation, whether you want to admit it or not.

We can consider:

- is there something we are feeling guilty about?

- are we ashamed of ourselves in some way?

- is there somewhere we know we are cheating, lying or “bending the rules” to get what we really want?

- where are we making excuses for ourselves or someone else?

Then we can consider: what should we be doing differently?

- where can we be braver, stronger, more committed, more honest, more kind, more compassionate?

When we hide from ourselves, we can only fool one part of ourselves for so long, before the subconscious part eventually comes along and insists we sort ourselves out.  Ironically, it is often our worst dreams that are the ones that can improve our lives the most.  These dreams want to resolve conflict by making sure our outer behaviour is in line with our inner values.  Our dreams demand nothing less than we live a life of emotional honesty and integrity.  But we have to be prepared to listen.

Can sweet scents give us sweet dreams?

An article in the “National Geographic”  refers to a study that looks at how the smell of roses and sulphuric acid (rotten eggs) can influence dreams.  Interestingly, the dreams did not incorporate literal representations of roses or eggs, but rather, the rose dreams were reported as pleasant, while the rotten eggs dreams described as producing an unpleasant feeling.  This backs up the already known connection between scents and emotions (as well as memories) but also shows that what we dream, even if directly influenced by our physical environment, will often be played out in emotional and symbolic ways, rather than literal or obvious ones.

Scent has been used for centuries to help induce sleep – lavender is particularly useful to create a relaxed state of mind that is helpful for drifting off to a pleasant sleep.

Other essential oils that may help with sleep include:

• Benzoin
• Chamomile
• Jasmin
• Neroli
• Rose
• Sandalwood
• Tangerine
• Ylang Ylang

These can be used by putting a few drops in a bath before bed, adding to a carrier oil like sweet almond or grape-seed oil and massaging into the skin, or using an oil burner or diffuser in the bedroom (remember not to leave a naked candle flame unattended, or still burning while you sleep.)

Of course, another easier way to use these oils is to put a few drops on your pillow or bed sheets.  If you try this option, remember the scent will remain even once you have fallen asleep, so there is a real chance that your actual dreams may also be influenced.  Hopefully this will be pleasant, but pay attention to how different scents effect not only your ability to fall asleep, but also the quality of your sleep and dreams once you do.  You should be able to find which scents are the most pleasant and relaxing for you.  If you want to go a step further, you can even try to experiment with different scents that produce pleasant memories for you, maybe your mother’s perfume, baby powder, leather bound books from your grand father’s library and so on.  Keep these things close to your bedside or pillow, and see how they may influence the mood or story of your dreams.

Dreaming does not have to be an entirely passive process, we can influence, albeit subtly, the content and feelings of our dreams by what we do in our waking life.  Scents are one key that can help us unlock the door to our mysterious dreaming subconscious mind.

Read the “National Geographic” Article here:

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2008/09/080923-smell-sleep.html